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Young/teenager mothers slap their children in stores?

What do you do about this? I often see these mothers ignore their children of slap them continually. Should I just ignore them? Most of them don't slap their children hard but some of them do. Is this allowed in stores? (By the way I don't think slapping young children is an effective way to discipline them, it just makes them cry and they don't listen!) I'm not a parent. But if you are how does it make you feel? I'm not stereotyping, that is just what I have seen. It's just the repetitive slapping that I notice.

Public Comments

  1. I dont think you should label this as just "young/teenager mothers" That is pretty rude and implying that all teenage moms hit their kids. I know for fact being that I was one that I didnt hit my kids. It should be "some mothers" as old mothers can be abusive as well!!!
  2. Everyone has their own way of disciplining their children, it's the ones who don't discipline that bother me!
  3. i think that is harsh but if the child doesnt listen theres no other way
  4. I'd say as long as it's a slap on the hand or a swat on the bottom andnot repetitive hitting or beating then it's none of your business. Maybe spanking is not effective for all kids, but it works for a lot of them. Just like time out is not effective for all kids but it works for a lot of them. And yes you should let it go. They are the parent, not you.
  5. Child abuse is not considered abuse if the contact is made with hand only, on the rear while the child is clothed. Any exceptions to this, by law are considered abuse. I would give the parent a look and say "Wow, that worked. You're a great mom" and walk away. It may make her angry, but atleast she would stop doing it in the grocery store. My parents were great parents but I got my hands smacked, and I got my mouth slapped for talking back but my parents weren't dumb enough to do it in public.
  6. I don't agree with this, in or out of a store. Yesterday I saw a 20-something blond mother with two little children. The boy picked something off the shelf and I distinctly heard her say "I'm going to whip your @ss right here in front of everybody if you don't put that back now and walk straight." I was so shocked, I just kept walking because I couldn't change the situation.
  7. Slapping children is cruel, no matter how badly they misbehave. Ignoring them does NOT work either.
  8. I personally as a mother think slapping is the worst discipline ever. I think basically all you can do though is ignore it unless it is out of control and then you should definitely step in and do something. Unfortunately it would be very difficult to report them because you don't know who they are so what more can you do other than step in yourself!
  9. It really depends for me on the situation, and on the parent's state of mind. I get upset when I see a mother not in control of the situation, or clearly stressed out just over-reacting or taking out their frustration with the situation on the child. Some parents spank whether or not I agree with that method of discipline. What bothers me is not the spanking as much as it is a parent in poor form doing so.
  10. Mind your business. Its plenty of things that are wrong, but do you have to address every single one??! NOOOOOOO, so, just mind your business.
  11. Unfortunately i don't think we can do much.. just confronting them gets the parents mad just look at them and shake your head ... this will make them feel bad...
  12. i agree with "love taps".. they tell the child what they are doing wrong. what i do not agree with is the teenagers smacking their children who are just asking for attention. i am a young mother. if my daughter was to pitch a fit in the store i would tell her that is bad behavior and why. if she did it again I would give her a little tap to tell her i am serious. that does work...it is allowed in stores.. if they beat them then no.. but it goes along with the freedom of speech issue in the constitution. i have been called a bad mother before for doing my love taps but it is discipline and ignoring the situation makes it worse. calling me a bad mom makes it bad for the person judging me..i have a very well behaved child because of this and she respects me. i tell her no and she listens. i don't have to threaten her like some people do
  13. Corporal punishment is more-often effective than more recent "non-physical" punishments. If employed correctly, it teaches a child respect for authority, cause and effect, and the understanding that certain behaviors can have uncomfortable outcomes. There is a difference between correct employment of corporal punishment and physical abuse. As far as your opinions on corporal punishment are concerned, you're simply presumptive and incorrect. Your lack of parenting experience also makes you less qualified to assess the value or success of corporal punishment. As far as the dilemma questioned is concerned, the answer is pretty simple: they aren't YOUR kids, so mind your own business. If you should someday have your own children, you won't want others telling you how to raise them.
  14. i can't stand to see a mother of any age hit their child or slap them. its wrong and the child does not usually change his/her behavior. unfortunatly their isn't much you can do about it. i once saw a lady hit her child on top of the head with a fist to get her to shutup. my husband had to hold me back. i went back and told security and they watched her, she of course did it again and they kicked her out of the store. so my advice- tell security so they can keep an eye on the mother they may or may not be able to do anything about it though.
  15. Wow, that's pretty rude of you to say it's a teenage mother thing. I'm sure there are just as many older parents slapping their kids around too. If a mark is left on the child then it is considered child abuse. Call CPS or the cops on the parent.
  16. It is up to the parents to choose how to discipline their child.Different places have different laws on smacking. I dont hit my son though, and never will. I dont do anything about the way people parent their child as it isnt my place.You will find is you ask parents they have different opinions on the matter. But it isnt only teenage/yong mothers who do use hitting as a method of discipline.I know parents from all walks of life (from 20-40) who hit their children. My mother (38) told me to hit my 7 month old son, but it aint gonna happen.It anyone does it him, Then They will learn what it feels like to be hit! (excuse the pun! :p)
  17. It really upsets me. I've actually spanked my daughter once in a store, but she was being really mean, not listening, and pulling things off the shelves. I finally had enough and spanked her on the bottom (just a couple smacks). But I felt like one of those moms, and it made me uneasy. But I know completely what you mean. I was in a department store and I went to go try on an outfit and this woman had her son in one of the dressing rooms with the door open, and she was hitting him in the face with a belt. I freaked out and called the police. She was arrested, and I hope they took that little boy from her. Sometimes you have to step in, but I think for the most part there isn't much you can do. It's a shame.
  18. I had my son when i was 17 (I'm 26 now)I know what you are talking about. I on occasion will spank my son Not hard of course but never in front of anyone because you are embarrassing the child if you do this in front of other people.I also think that these young parents don't understand that their child could be taken away if people don't agree with their parenting methods.As someone on the outside witnessing this I would say you have to think very critically about calling authorities. People are often to quick to call the cops in these matters. You really have to ask yourself would this child be better off in the care of DCFS the chances are the answer to that question is most likely no.
  19. Im 20 and im a parent.Im also a aunt to 5 and a godmother to 2.I see this sometimes and this worries me.My daughter is only 3 mons.so i would'nt even THINK about smacking her!BUT my neices and nephews range from 2 yrs.old to 14.My Godchildren are 1 and 6.I have never hit them but i have yelled and tapped them.I dont plan on EVER laying a finger on my child.I think it's crazy that these mothers hit these young kids and curse at them.Thats how sooo many kids get messed up when they get older!Its a sad shame but whacha gonna do?Diffrent strokes for diffrent folks.And sweets you wont really understand until you become a parent and you have 1 child over there pulling things off the shelf and the other standing up in the cart.Did i mention there is another one screaming and running around like a maniac?It DOES get annoying!
  20. thats' being harsh againsit young mothers not all young mothers are like that some old mothers hit their kids too.
  21. nevada law on abuse you can hit your child all you want as long as there is no marks or open wounds that last more then 15 minutes.and it is not anyones business unless close fist or a item of substance is ued that can leave a mark.it is a fine line between abuse and discipline .most store policy is for employees to not get involved for their own safety
  22. I agree. Its not just young/teen mothers. There is a big difference between abuse and a slap/spank. Believe me if my kids misbehaves in public he will get a swat on the butt. Nothing hard but firm enough that he knows. Every child responds differently. Timeouts don't work for all children as neither does spanking. Its the parents choice as to the discipline of their child/children. Like I said earlier there is a difference between a spank and abuse. I was spanked as a child and trust me it got my attention real quick. Timeout did not faze me one bit. I'm 35 now and timeout does not faze my son. We have tried many times but a good firm swat on his butt catches his attention and he knows we mean business. Again its a personal choice. And yes, unless the child is being beaten, stay out of it.
  23. i am a young parent of 1, i am 20 and my daughter is nearly 2, i dont smack my child as i dont agree with it, i take away treats / use the naughty step when at home. therfore i feel that the title of the question is wrong as u are stereo typing all young mums, i see older mums smack children so why title your question 'young/teeneager mothers slap their children in stores? '
  24. well in Adelaide its illegal to hit your kids these days you can get put up for assault, which i reckon is a great law. and i agree with you, i can stand seeing children get slapped i believe there are other forms of discipline parents can use!
  25. Slapping your kids is wrong... It doesn't accomplish anything, and if done in a public place may land you in jail... There are much better methods like taking away privileges... That works with my son...
  26. I love how someone said they use "love taps," but they have to say "love taps" to convince themselves that they are not "hitting" their child. I believe in spanking and not spanking your kids, as I see both sides of it. But if you do spank/hit your kids, don't cover it up with cute little names. And don't label teenage/young mothers as the ones who slap their kids around. Any parent is capable of doing this, and any teen parent is capable of not doing it. It really doesn't have alot to do with age. Yes, teens can lose their cool quicker than an adult at a child, but not all of them resort to slapping their kids around for no reason. That said, yes it's wrong and I can't stand when parents do that to their kids. I hate when I'm in the mall and a parent is screaming and threatening a child for acting like a child. What's with the thumbs down? What I said is pure truth. If you spank your kids, call it spanking, not "love tapping." And it's not only young parents that hit their kids. And I don't think the poster was talking about spanking in public, they were talking about slapping and abusing in public, which is wrong. What is there to disagree with?
  27. I have seen more older people do this than younger No one should slap theri child young or old
  28. MAD. I think it is rude and makes the child feel not only hurt, but ridiculed, and that can lower their self-esteem in a big way. People who just smack their kids like that are selfish.
  29. I'm 22 and would never slap my kids so maybe you should rethink your question....older moms make just as many mistakes as younger moms btw.
  30. I definitely don't think it's right to slap children- especially when they are angry. Do adults slap each other if someone is annoying us?? NO, we don't! I would imagine a teenager may not have the maturity to deal with the demands of a child. The teen mother has her own needs too and may not know how to juggle both her needs and a child's. She might feel at ease if she had a helping hand, so next time you see this you might offer to help her in some way. That could open the door to give a little advice. But remember that unsolicited advice is usually not received.
  31. Ok I dont think thats fair AT ALL to accuse or stereotype ALL young and teen mothers of slapping their children! I dont EVER slap my daughter and I have been her mother since 15. I think that she has gotten a swat on the butt at home once but never in the world have I hit her! She normally gets told to stop or we go home. She doesnt like being at home so she normally stops. Or if she is good she gets a little reward like a little toy or some candy when we're done. I have seen an Older mom in Target who was full out hitting her daughter in the store because her daughter wanted to be held at 3 years old! I watched in horror as she hit her not only once but FOUR times.
  32. Are you talking about a slap in the face? That would be wrong, yes... but why are you singling out young/teen moms? MANY moms unfortunately do this to their children, has nothing to do with the age of the mom. If you're talking about a simple spanking, which is a swat/two on the bottom, that has nothing to do with abuse. Naturally it's not something to do CONTINUALLY, but again, why point out that it's the young/teen moms who do this? I have given my children a swat on the bottom in public a couple of times when it was necessary. I don't continue swatting, since like I said, a spank is a swat/two on the bottom.
  33. Very angry. I personally do not believe in putting hands on a child, there are ways to speak to them to get your point across. I would report them to child protective services.
  34. Although I don't slap my son, I can see why some parents slap their kids. You have to discipline your children accordingly. I've seen both, parents who physically discipline their kids and parents who don't. It turns my stomach to see a parent pleading with their child to behave. I'm unsure how that necessary level of respect a child is supposed to have for their parents can be achieved, if the child knows that regardless of what they do, the worse that will happen is a time-out or a harsh talking to. Time-outs may work for some kids but not all kids. So a uniform method of discipline cann't be applied to all children. I have a 9yr old boy and another one on the way. Fortunately, with my son, if I look at him a certain way he will behave himself because he thinks that if he doesn't, he'll get in trouble. Trouble for him is not being able to watch tv or play video games. Taking away something he likes to do and having to sit in his room in silence is one of the worst things that can happen, in his mind. I don't have to hit him to discipline him but that's not saying that I wouldn't, if I felt it was needed. And it wouldn't at all shame to me to have to do so. I think one of the worst things a parent can do is feel guilt because their method of disciplining is different than another parents, not including abuse. Whether that be, time-outs, standing on one leg for 10 minutes, spankings, or taking away privaleges. No one is there to raise your children for you. All you can do is the best you can do.
  35. Don't imply this as strictly a "young/teenager mother" topic. There are many mothers who are in their 30s who do the exact same thing. Bare in mind that different children respond to different tactics, and not all tactics can be exercised in a store (how do you put a child in time-out when you're trying to grocery shop?). And, don't try to say, "Well, they should just take the child and leave," because for some people, this isn't an option either--some people live too far away to just come back whenever, don't have the money to pay for gas to come-and-go simply because their child is crying, don't have their own vehicle, etc. Unless there is actual harm coming to the child, grin and bare it. The child is not being harmed, and for all you know that is the only form of discipline the child responds to or the "normal" punishment for *whatever they did* isn't something that can be done in the store. Now, if the child IS being harmed (a little crying, a broken heart, a fit that they're not getting what they want, etc, is NOT being in harm), THEN you should say something to a member of the store's staff or a security guard.
  36. If they are not listening then a slap is good to get there attention.
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