Shop Happy Girl

Ladies! Have you ever bought dirt bike motocross pants? If so were they long? Im tall and i dont know if they will be long enough for me. Ive been looking at the Fox Racing 2008 Model, Womens Dakota Pants or the Fox Racing 2008 Model, Womens Switch Pants. Do you have any suggestions on what i should be looking for. Im kind of just starting out...They dont exactly have to be these ones.

LADIES!!! QUICK!!! Does anyone know where I can find CHEAP khaki pants? I have to find some khaki pants for this new job that I start wednesday. I have to have some khakis for the new uniform that we start on September 1st, 2006. Please help me find some khaki pants that aren't too expensive. Oh and by the way I need bootcut pants. And I am tall also. HELP!!!

girls out there know where to find trendy sandals for tall girls? Any ladies out there know where to find (online or elsewhere) trendy sandals (hot ones, not old lady strappies) for taller girls? I'm 5'8" and my bf is 5'11". Great barefoot, but when I put on the shoes I really like I tower over him because they are 3 inches or higher! But I looove cute heeled sandals (steve madden, candies, etc) We're going on vacation to california, a cruise, and then mexican riviera. Two weeks but I have cute pants, skirts, dresses, etc that I cant wear some ugly flats with and I cant wear flip flops with everything!! Heeelp

long and tall clothing? My 14 yo is very tall (5'9") and slender. I am having a tough time finding clothing for her. Does anone have any suggestions for catalogs - I DO NOT wantto shop online, I want sites where I can specifically request a print catalog ONLY - She is a jeans and t shirt kind of girl but she needs shirts that are longer in length and have longer arms and pants that fit her in the waist but are not too short for her. I would also like to see a catalog that has trendy but modest skirts and dresses for the tall young lady. Also, I live in an area where we have a teeny tiny mall with very few stores so please do not suggest a store unless there is a site where I can go and get a print catalog sent to me. It is important that the prices are moderate.

Single, 24 m searching For Advice From Ladies that Are 24-28 years old.? am going to take a woman on a date, probably dinner. I want to look nice. I have PLENTY of slacks, and dress pants. I do, however, need examples (pics from websites; or links to pics of websites) of nice shirts to wear on the date, maybe even link to some good pics of some nice outfits that you think you would love to see your dream man in! I am 24, slim, and 6 foot tall, if that helps you ladies figure out what would look best on me. Thank you so much!

Panting Women? If I (a male) dance close with a lady who is slightly taller than me I usually feel her breath on my face as she pants gently. Do all heterosexual ladies pant like this every time they dance close with a man, or are the ones that do becoming turned-on ? Do men also sometimes pant like this when dancing close with a girl? ( I've never really noticed it in my case, but I know I can sometimes get turned-on in another place/way when I dance close ! ) Okay, have a laugh by all means, but can we please have some serious answers too? And I'm talking about slow smoochie dances here.

LADIES what is the sexiest look for a man?! (men welcome to view)? I saw a question asking guys what hot styles are for girls. That gave me the idea for us women to let guys know what hotness turns us on. Me first: tall, dark and gorgeous. (johnny depp/orlando bloom) Long Hair (a MUST) - wavy or straight either just to the shoulders or just past the shoulders. Dark brown eyes, baby mustache, and can go from Wall Street by day to Biker Dude by night. Day Look: thick sparkly rolex, dress pants with an open button down shirt over a wife-beater t-shirt, gold jewelry. Or a $4,000 suit. Night Look: leather jacket, cut up jeans, lots of bracelets, diamond earrings, Rock n' Roll Boots (not combat boots). What is male sex appeal in your book? Before anybody goes yelping about money that's really not the point. I'm talking VISUALS here ok? I happen to think diamonds and gold on a man add to sex appeal. They can be cheap diamonds, it's THE LOOK I'm trying to make a point on! And guys please note the LONG HAIR seems to be ruling the running.

Thoughts about the woman pulled off the South West Airlines Flight? I'm curious to hear opinions of the young lady who was pulled off the SouthWest Airlines flight because her outfit was too revealing. The pictures of her, wearing her skirt and top were I thought not out of the norm, she was tall, blonde and a bit busty but nothing at all revearling about her top and her skirt was low to mid thigh. They actually showed some of the older SW Airline flight attendents from the 70's wearing hot pants on CNN today. Curious to hear opinions, because this woman was dressed nicely and I have seen some pretty poorly dressed people not get a second look. Think that jealously had anything to do with it? I only saw the picture of her that was shown on the media. She looks fine in it and didn't have a tank top on, she had a top and sweater. My understanding was that it was a female passenger who complained after the boarded the plane and that she was given a blanket to cover herself after getting back on.

Any ladies in Battle Creek, Michigan looking for a foot slave? I like women's feet and I'm looking for a pretty lady between the ages of 20-37 who lives in Battle Creek, MI (or very close by) to be my foot mistress, who's willing to make me her foot slave. I'll do anything she wants with them. Massage them, wash them, kiss them, lick her soles, suck her toes. Give her pedicures, clip her toe nails, be her foot stool. I'm willing to get down on my knees and dedicate myself to doing whatever feels good to her feet, no matter how humiliating it is or how dirty her feet are. I'd like this to be discreet....I want to be her secret little slave that she loves to dominate with her feet. No strings of any kind attached, no pressure for a relationship, and I'm not trying to get into your pants. I'm white, 26 years old, 6'2" tall, brown hair, slender build. I don't mean to turn anyone off, I'm just looking for some fun and I love to feel like I'm serving a woman in this way....so I'm just looking. Thanks for reading this and please don't hate me.

Any ladies who live in Battle Creek, MI looking for a foot slave? I like women's feet and I'm looking for a pretty lady between the ages of 20-37 who lives in Battle Creek, MI (or very close by) to be my foot mistress, who's willing to make me her foot slave. I'll do anything she wants with them. Massage them, wash them, kiss them, lick her soles, suck her toes. Give her pedicures, clip her toe nails, be her foot stool. I'm willing to get down on my knees and dedicate myself to doing whatever feels good to her feet, no matter how humiliating it is or how dirty her feet are. I'd like this to be discreet....I want to be her secret little slave that she loves to dominate with her feet. No strings of any kind attached, no pressure for a relationship, and I'm not trying to get into your pants. I'm white, 26 years old, 6'2" tall, brown hair, slender build. I don't mean to turn anyone off, I'm just looking for some fun and I love to feel like I'm serving a woman in this way....so I'm just looking. Thanks for reading this and please don't hate me.

Any ladies in Battle Creek, MI. looking for a foot slave? I like women's feet and I'm looking for a pretty lady between the ages of 20-37 who lives in Battle Creek, MI (or very close by) to be my foot mistress, who's willing to make me her foot slave. I'll do anything she wants with them. Massage them, wash them, kiss them, lick her soles, suck her toes. Give her pedicures, clip her toe nails, be her foot stool. I'm willing to get down on my knees and dedicate myself to doing whatever feels good to her feet, no matter how humiliating it is or how dirty her feet are. I'd like this to be discreet....I want to be her secret little slave that she loves to dominate with her feet. No strings of any kind attached, no pressure for a relationship, and I'm not trying to get into your pants. I'm white, 26 years old, 6'2" tall, brown hair, slender build. I'm not looking for sex though, I only want to worship a woman's feet. And yes, I'm serious.

Ladies need help? I'm a 22 yrs old, 6'1 tall, funny, athletic, work and go to school, I don't dress with my pants to my knees or wear a hat sideways or wear those big shades that cover my face, hispanic and speak it very well as well as a little Vietnamese and French. I get a lot of people that tell me I look like Oscar DeLa Hoya, which is a compliment to me, but older women hit on me anywhere from 29-41, I dont mind that, its just that I'm looking for someone near my age. When I approach a young lady they seem not want to make eye contact or get scared, and I know how too approach people because I work in sales. Yet I approach someone who's a little older and have NO trouble going out with them. What's the best way to approach a lady near my age? I prefer to meet people up close rather than Myspace it. Its more challenging and Myspace takes the daring out of it.

Question for TALL People!? I am 14 yaers old. I am 6 feet tall. I wear a size 13 in women. And It is really hard to find shoes and cloths! Does anyone know were I can find some cute shoes in large sizes and cute pants in long sizes. I perfer walk in stores but online shopping is okay. I tried Zappo's, Gap, Nordstorm. Thank u so much!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. I don't want old lady shoes LOL!

Ladies...Just another "why am i single question"? I'm 5'8" tall, 190, 36 waist. Brown hair and eyes, glasses. Kinda like my avatar. LOL. Anyway, i seem to be the last guy on the planet who considers himself a true gentleman. I enjoy cleanliness, i enjoy the company of good people and am comfortable in any situation. I'm honest, and hardworking and love to treat a lady as a lady. I also love to cut loose and have fun whenever i can, so don't assume i'm a buttoned up piece of white bread. So the true question is this... why is it that women in general (that i've met anyway) look at these things as flaws? Am i too honorable for today's women? It seems like they immediately look at me and make up their mind that i'm either not attractive or just not worth getting to know. I mean, i don't even get past "hello" or "hi". Do i need to say some sort of stupid one-liner or something to get their attention? I just don't feel it is a proper compliment. I just feel like another creep trying to get into their pants, which i most certainly am not.

LADIES: Why is it that girls always want to be taller? Soo. I always hear everyone saying how they wish they could be taller. I'm 5'8", which isn't extremelyy tall, but is taller than most girls. And I don't understand what all the fuss is about. I hate my height. I feel like a freaking amazon around basically all girls, and most guys as well. My legs and arms are awkwardly long, my torso is very long as well [making it impossible to look decent in a dress], pants are always too short, and I always feel like i stick out like a sore thumb. So I was just curious about WHY girls so desperately want to be taller? What is the attraction there? What's so great about it? xoxo Yes seriously! I'm 140 pounds also. And all of my friends are like 5'1 and 115 or something. I feel like a giant around all of them. I hate it =/

Ladies, what you be dissapointed if...? Would you be disappointed if you were dating this guy, and you thought he was 'the one' he was tall, bulky, was nice, helpful, smart, funny, the works. After all this, you expect him to have a huge penis because he is tall and muscly, you take off his pants, and find he has an average size penis, and your hopes are lost. Would you dump him?

What do you think of the ther book i wrote? Just so everyone knows i am 12, and i will add on to the book when i get more to add

ladies, pls answer this...? WHO LOOKS BETTER?... a tall and slim guy with light complexion who wears fitted shirts and fited pants with nice spikey hair or... a brown skinned not-so-tall man who has a nice fade hairstyle. with baggy clothes?

ladies would you want to be with him for the rest of your life?? lets say there was a 6 foot tall, brown eyed, brown haired man, you were really attracted to him. He was a very nice guy, he respected you for who you were; he wasn't like all the other dumb guys out there and you could tell. He is very smart and didn't think about one thing all the time (You know what I mean, getting into your pants). He had great manners and always made you laugh, on top of that he always protected you from other guys trying to hurt you or just pick on you. You knew that he loves you with all his heart and he would sacrafice anything for you. He also it trying to learn a different language just so he can talk to you in it. You also know that you are like a queen to him and it often shows because of how he treats you. My question is this, if he was always like that to you and you only liked him more as time went on would you want to marry him??? And possibly have kids with him if it came up???

Ok Ladies? Remember these? ...Stir-up pants????? They had the little piece of material that went under the sole of your foot ?? I was always so tall that they did not fit me good. anyone remember???

Ladies, which guy would you rather bang? Assume they all have attractive faces and none are out of shape. None are lacking in the pants either. 1. Kick-boxer, who is tan and slender, but ripped. He's not huge and burly, but you can see all the toned muscles on his body perfectly. 2. football player. He's big and strong, but no muscle definition. Just giant, and wide. 3. Basketball player, tall and muscular. 4. Street racer. he likes to go fast. You can choose more than one too, if you can't decide. The question isn't, "who would you date" it's who would you 'do.' Just to clarify for some of you

ladies and gentlemen...pick an outfit for me!? i need ideas for outfits to go to a club. pictures would be very helpful. NO SKIRTS please (dresses are okay, but they should be at least knee length)! and don't forget the shoes (i'll be dancing, so something that isn't going to kill my feet would be nice)! i'm very petite, i wear a size one pant (jeans/shorts) and i'm very small up top too (unfortunately). i have dark skin (tan), and brown shoulder length hair with caramel highlights. i'm not to tall, just average at 5'4". my favortie color is pink, but any color will do, as long as you think it is "club suitable" any ideas are greatly appreciated! thanks!

Anybody wear scrubs? So, I am about to start nursing school, and I just got a full time job working at a Dr.'s office. (YAY!) Anywho... he told me that I would just need to wear scrubs to work. The only problem is that I am a 6 foot tall lady with a 36 inch inseam. My question is, if anybody out there knows where i can find some scrub pants with at least a 36 inch inseam? All i can seem to find are 34 inch or the occasional 35 inch. I have been checking online. This is driving me crazy.

How to dress more classy/sexy Ladies Help Me!? Hey there, i just turned 18 and i am very interested in changing my look, i really love the skinny jeans with nice wedge heels, and bermuda shorts, or wide leg pants but im so self concieous after i had my baby 5 months ago, im 5'7 in height and weigh 145 i am average to tall, i want to wear heels but im kinda tall so i think it will make me look bad but i see all these ladies even my freinds dressing the way id LOVE to but i dont because im conceious of everything with my body, how do i get out of this and get the courage to break out of this shell, im considered pretty, people say im gorgeous, i want to bring it out and get out these jeans and sneakers. Thanks to all

Anyone wants to help me with my story? I am writing a rough draft to start my story off. Tell me if you guys like it and what you think should come next. Derek Henderson was a tall, muscular, good-looking, dark-complexion brother with brown eyes standing in a club called “Crypt Tonight” beside the bar drinking a Corona while waiting for his friends to arrive. Waiting for his friends, he saw this woman sitting at a table with some of her friends talking and laughing having a good time. She was five-two, weighing at one hundred six pounds, attractive, brown-skinned, short black hair with brown eyes. As he stood there; staring at her wondering if he has confidence to go over and introduce himself to her and her friends. Two young ladies: one was tall, big-boned, dark-skinned, short black hair wearing a Black Halter Swingy Dress, and her friend was tall, big-boned, dark-skinned, short black hair, with glasses wearing a Loose Black Top, Pants, with Silver Jewelry walking up to the bar asking for two beers. He glanced at them smiling and saying hi; still sipping on his beer and turning his attention back to the young lady that caught his eye. His friends, Greg, and Jeremy walked in the club looking for their friend when one of his friends tapped the other on the arm, and pointed at the bar. They walked up to the bar slapping their friend on the shoulder causing him to break his concentration, and gave them a manly handshake then turned to the bartender asking for two beers. “Who are you staring at” Jeremy asked? Before he could answer his friend, one of the waitresses walked up to the bar placing her tray down on the bar as she finishes writing down the orders. “Excuse me, but I don’t mean to bother you because I know you busy, but I would like to have some drinks sent over to the table where those lovely young ladies sitting at” as he points to the exact table where he wants her to go. As they walked over to an empty table, placing their drinks down and took their seats watching the ladies’ on the floor dance to “Tambourine” by Eve. “When you start buying drinks for people, because we known you since childhood and you never brought anyone a drink” Greg asked? He sat there smiling; and ignoring his friend question as he got up from his seat and started walking over to their table hoping he doesn’t choke.

Collection of jokes? Collection of jokes There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and got on it again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said , "If you fix our car we will do anything you want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash. When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied, "Could you hold my camel?" A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple whom also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog. After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog." A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5, 000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35, " was the reply. "I'm actually 47, " the man says happily. A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?" "Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47, " Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's". A young couple on the brink of divorce visits a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation." The counselor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me." A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away, " sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. "It doesn't work!" she yelled. "What do you mean?" asked Mom. "Well, " sniffed the little girl, "I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider." A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make theguy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport, " he asked? "Fifteen bucks, " came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as the drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver. John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to' Bring this note to your beautiful Mummy.' The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to 'Bring this to your silly Daddy.' The note read: Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today. John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to 'The lady in the kitchen'. The note read: The Tent Pole's Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So Drop What You're Doing, And Come Give Me Some Head. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to 'Take this to the poor man upstairs'. The note read: I'm Sure That Your Pole's The Best In The Land. But I'm Busy Right Now, So Do It By Hand! Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!" And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!" And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!" There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him. First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw. Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw." The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming." A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents." "That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?" Said the woman: "All of them, of course!" Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him, "Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES" The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it, "He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago." Doctor, the embarrassed man said, 'I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.' 'Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do.' So, the worried fellow returned with his wife the following pad. The doctor greeted the coupled and then said, 'Please remove your clothes, Mrs. Thomas.' The woman obliged and removed her clothing. 'Okay, now turn all the way around... Now, lie down please... Uh-huh, I see. Alright, you can put your clothes back on.' While the woman was busy dressing herself again, the doctor took the husband aside. 'You're in perfect health,' he said to the man. 'Your wife didn't give me an erection either.' Jack and his friends were playing golf one Saturday. As they are getting ready to tee off, a guy walks up and asks if he can join them. The friends look at each other, look at the guy and say, 'Sure.' About two holes into the game, the friends get curious about what the guy does for a living. So they ask him. The stranger tells them he's a hitman. They all laugh. The guy says, 'No really, I am a hitman. My gun is in my golf bag. I carry it everywhere. You can take a look at it if you like.' So Jack decides to check it out. He opens the bag and, sure enough, there is a rifle with a huge scope attached. Jack gets all excited and says, 'WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look?' The hit man replies, 'Sure.' So Jack looks and says, 'YEAH! You can see my house! I can even see through the windows into my bedroom. There's my wife. Wait, there's my next door neighbor! And he's naked too!' This really upsets Jack so he asks how much it would be for a hit. The hitman replies, 'I get $1000 every time I pull the trigger.' Jack responds, '$1000? Well, OK, I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She's always nagging at me and I can't stand it. Second, I want you to shoot my neighbor in the penis, just for screwing around with my wife.' The hit man agrees, gears up and looks through the scope. He's looking for about five minutes until finally Jack starts to get really impatient and asks, 'What are you waiting for? The hitman replies, 'Relax..... I'm about to save you a thousand bucks!' A little boy goes up to his father and asks: 'Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?' The father replies: 'Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000.' The boy goes and asks his mother: 'Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?' The mother replies: 'Hell yes I would!' The little boy returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father then says: 'Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000.' The boy asks his sister: 'Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?' The sister replies: 'Hell yes I would!' He returns to his father: 'Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'' The father answers: 'Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're just living with a couple of whores.' A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?" "What! Are you crazy!" "Don't worry, it will be quick, " he ensures his girlfriend. "No! Someone might see us..." "It's just a small blowjob, " he insists, "and I know you like it." "No! I said no!" "Baby... don't be like that." "Come on baby pleeeeaassseee" "I'm not going to give you a blow job" "Why Not...baby it will be quick I promise?" Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown, with her hair a mess, and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, or he'll come downstairs and blow the guy himself... but for God's sake tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom." Little Tommy runs into the bathroom one day to find his mother taking a bath. He points at her bush and asks, 'What's that Mommy? 'A little embarrassed, she tells him that is her sponge. Tommy is satisfied with that answer and goes back to playing with his toys. Some time later, Tommy catches his mother in the shower shortly after she has shaved her bush for bikini season. Tommy asks her, 'Where is your sponge mommy? 'Again embarrassed she tells him that she lost it but will probably find it soon. Tommy is a little worried and promises his mommy that he will help her find it. His mother says OK and goes back to showering. Soon, Tommy comes running back in and says that he has found his mother's sponge.' What do you mean you found my sponge? "The lady next door has it and she's washing Daddy's face with it!' This story occurred on Melbourne radio last week. One of the FM stations has a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win an overseas holiday. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Hey its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 - When was the last time you had sex? Brian: Ha Ha, well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for Brian ? Brian: Hmmmmm .... about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it? Brian: Ohhhh , I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here Brian ! Brian: O.K. ... O.K. ... On the kitchen table. Presenter: (and others in the room - much laughter). Good one Brian, now is it O.K. for us to call your wife ? Brian: Yeah, alright. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you ? Sharelle: Hi. Good thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi Brian. Brian: Hi Sharelle. Presenter: Now Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth Honey. Sharelle: O.K. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ? Sharelle: Oohhhh, noooooo. I can't say that on radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: O.K. ... About 8: 00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start ! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle ? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That's close enough ... Brian was just being a gentleman. Presenter: O.K. Sharelle, final question. Where did you do it ? Sharelle: Oh no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway.. just tell em. Sharelle: Ohhhh .... alright .... Up the ass ! Radio Silence A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face and shaking him, "Are you alright?" In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY did you say?" The big dude says, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions almost everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'. What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse? What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of? What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it? What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k? Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman? What does a dog do that you can step into? What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands? What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat? What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages? What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? ANSWERS: 1. (talk) 2. (legs) 3. (a twenty dollar bill) 4. (firetruck) 5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt) 6. (pants) 7. (fork) 8. (Almond Joy candy bar) 9. (grit) 10. (last name) A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!" A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!" "Look! We're going fishing and that's final." "Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!" The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!" "Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!" The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?" The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!" "Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!" "Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either." A guy goes to the tattoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1, 000 to put a $100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this. The man replies, 'I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now.' So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a $100 bill on his penis. So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the $1000 he would have paid for the tattoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a $100 bill on his willie. So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: 'First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it.' It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words, " he said, "but what's the dollar for?" "Well, " she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar." The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea." One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified, the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope, " replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going to set the garage on fire."' A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid, " she thought as she fell. "What a way to die." As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" she shrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too. The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her. A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are you thinking now?" He replied: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

Question For Females Ages 24-28? I am going to take a woman on a date, probably dinner. I want to look nice. I have PLENTY of slacks, and dress pants. I do, however, need examples (pics from websites; or links to pics of websites) of nice shirts to wear on the date, maybe even link to some good pics of some nice outfits that you think you would love to see your dream man in! I am 24, slim, and 6 foot tall, if that helps you ladies figure out what would look best on me. Thank you so much!

what your name say about you? i forgot CONAN smart super cool,,irresistible Daryle- ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff. cade------ gay, but very unhappy. epdug-------good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse. mikoy-----Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman. genie-----Likes Max power magazine, can't drive. Dominatrix Nova--Beautiful, power-crazy Colleen intelligent, funny and very talented when it comes to the naughty stuff. Anjan Very shy, nearly always seen with a bright red face Maren-Likes dancing, mainly the waltz. Dalton -only goes out with girls so that he can steal their clothes. Cory female -quiet, studious type, wears glasses, a tiger in bed male Kelly .the fat boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of *** Inga-Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.

I Need fashion advice from females 24+? I am going bowling tomorrow night, and there's going to be a woman there I really like. It's very, very casual. I am 6'0 tall and skinny. My style is kind of skater guy type of things. I am going to wear blue dickie pants with my converse all stars, my chucks, but I am not sure what color of shirt (besides blue, of course) that would go with that. Any advice you ladies could give would be much appreciated! Thanks, so much!

poll....What your name say about you? babygirl-Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs. just wondering--ugly shithead who everybody hates. neo complete loser, hated by his parents. ps is that neo the one SAMATHA --Drop dead gorgeous enters conan dreams at night hey i didnt write this John Paul.--wannabe sex machine. tends to kill small animals., Morgen--Drinks anything so long as it's got vodka in it. sorry for the re.re.repost but conan bored and im trying to fiinish my list so your names not there it will be ..

Want to know 336 useless facts? Useless Facts For every human being on earth, there are about 200 million insects. The harmonica is the world's most popular instrument. By the time they are 65 years old, most Americans have watched more than nine years worth of television. The puck in ice hockey can travel at up to 118 mph (190 km/h). If you stretched all the nerves in the body from end to end, they would be about 47 miles long. Humans have more than 600 muscles in their bodies. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt." All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are a member of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. The largest cabbage weighed 144 lbs. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A." A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Tigers have striped skin, not just stripped fur. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life." A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this at home!) The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. Many hamsters blink one eye at a time. The inventor of the flushing toilet was Thomas Crapper. The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A. Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world. Starfish have no brain. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter "E". Bulls are color blind. A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds. "Babe" was played by over 48 pigs. Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. Lip stick contains fish scales. The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people. The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms. Kidney stones come in any color from yellow to brown. Women blink twice as many times as men do. The McDonalds at the SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario is the only one in the world that sells hot dogs. A bowling pin only has to tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down. The first episode of Leave It To Beaver aired on October 4, 1957. Beaver Cleaver's locker number is 9. The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave It To Beaver. Jerry Seinfeld's apartment number (on the show) is 5A. In the old episodes it was 3A. The life span of a taste bud is ten days. Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits. The billionth digit in Pi is 9. The first 100 numbers of Pi are: 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 58209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679. Click HERE for 99,999 digits of pi! A stretched out Slinky is 87 feet long. An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. Emus can't walk backwards. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of owls is called a parliament. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of bears is called a sleuth. 12 or more cows is called a flink. A baby oyster is called a spat. Chickens can't swallow while they are upside down. In the October 22, 1945 edition of Life magazine there was a picture of a chicken with its head cut off. It was alive too! The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head. Pinocchio was made of pine. The largest pumpkin weighed 377 lbs. A mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will. More people are killed annually by donkeys than in airplane crashes. Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery. There are 22 stars in the Paramount logo. The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime. A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie. The pound sign # is called anoctothorpe. Maine is the toothpick capital of the world. New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states. There was once a town in West Virginia called "6". Singapore only has one train station. The parking meter was invented in North Dakota. Napolean made his battle plans in a sandbox. Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. The green stuff on the occasional freak potatoe chip is chlorophyll. If you ate too many carrots you would turn orange. Pluto's orbit crosses Neptune's making Pluto the eighth planet from the sun. It has been that way since 1979 and will remain that way until 1999. The earth is approx. 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons. The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT. Popeye was 5'6". Howdy Doody had 48 freckles. The first word spoken on the moon was "Okay". Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first. The average speed of Heinz ketchup leaving the bottle is 25 miles per year. Hilary Clinton once said We are the President. The percent of women who wash their hands after leaving a restroom is 80%. The percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is 55%. There are 333 toilet paper squares on a toilet paper roll. The Eifel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it. "Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish. On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles. The average American eats 2 donuts a day. The longest word in the Old Testament is Malhershalahashbaz. The longest time a person has been in a coma is 37 years. Every minute in the U.S 6 people turn 17. It takes the Where's Waldo artist one month to complete a drawing. 2500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties. A baby is born every 7 seconds. 10 tons of space dust fall on the Earth everyday. On average, a 4 year old child asks 437 questions a day. Blue and white are the most common school colors. Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year. The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: What hath God wrought?. The first words spoken by over Alexander Bell over the telephone were: Watson, please come here. I want you. The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: Mary had a little lamb The three words in the English language with the letters uu are: vacuum, residuum and continuum. A baby in Florida was named: Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny. His middle name is George James. It is illegal to ride a street car on Sunday if have been eating garlic in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In a normal life time an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat. A new book is published every 13 minutes in America. America's best selling ice-cream flavour is vanilla. American's eat 18 billion hot dogs a year. American's eat 134 pounds of sugar a year. Every year the sun loses 360 million tons. Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe. You can tell if a skunk is about if you smell only .000 000 000 000 071 ounce of its spray. Animal breeders in Russia once claimed to have bred sheep with blue wool. Penguins are the only bird that can leap into the air like porpoises. India has 50 million monkeys. By some unknown means, an iguana can end its own life. Americans spend around $3 billion for cat and dog food a year. Pigs can cover a mile in 7.5 minutes when running at top speed. You breathe about 10 million times a year. The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream. The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse. Lee Harvey Oswald was booked with mugshot number 54018. The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour. The bullseye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground. The foot is the most common body part bitten by insects. The most common time for a wake up call is 7am. The doorbell was invented in 1831. The are 255 squares on a Scrabble board. The electric shaver was patented on November 6, 1928. There are 500 sheets of paper in a ream. The monkey wrench was invented by Charles Moncke. Japan is the largest exporter of frog's legs. There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty's crown. There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow. The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay. The shell constitutes 12 percent of an egg's weight. A squid has 10 tentacles. A snail's reproductive organs are in its head. A cow's only sweat glands are in its nose. The word "AND" appears 46,277 times in the Bible. The first word played in the Scrabble rules demonstration game is "horn". The telephone's U.S. patent number is 174,465. The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day. There are 17 steps leading up to Sherlock Holme's apartment. When a horned toad is angry, it squirts blood from it's eyes. Napoleon was terrified of cats. The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint. The typical American eats 263 eggs a year. The ballpoint pen was invented in 1938 by Laszlo and Georg Biro. The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger. The parking meter was invented by C.C. Magee in 1935. In 1961, an IBM 7090 computer calculated Pi to 100 265 digits. The human body weighs forty times more than the brain. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp. A person swallows approximately 295 times while eating dinner. The oldest known vegetable is the pea. Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes. The avocado has the most calories of any fruit. The first zoo in the USA was in Philadelphia. The letter N ends all Japanese words not ending in a vowel. France has the highest per capita consumption of cheese. The hardest bone in the human body is the jawbone. 4000 people are injured by teapots each year. The typical American consumes 27 pounds of cheese each year. The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is feedback. The ostrich has a 46 foot long small intestine. The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states. The most sensitive finger on the human hand is the index finger. George Washington Carver invented peanut butter. The typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year. Stainless stell was invented by Harry Brearley in 1913. A scallop has 35 blue eyes. The left leg of a chicken in more tender than the right one. The only dog that doesn't have a pink tongue is the chow. Iceland was the first country to legalize abortion in 1935. The giraffe has the highest blood pressure of any animal. The dumbest domesticated animal is the turkey. Russia has the most movie theaters in the world. Albert Blake Dick invented the mimeograph machine. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. The most fatal car accidents occur on Saturday. An Oscar weighs seven pounds. It takes the typical person seven minutes to fall asleep. Gabriel Fahrenheit invented the mercury thermometer. The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps. The mongoose was barred live entry into the U.S. in 1902. Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning. Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30. A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 600 m.p.h. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year. Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet. Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue. A jellyfish is 95 percent water. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump. The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly. America once issued a 5-cent bill. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails. You blink about 84,000,000 times a year. In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. The most used letter in the English alphabet is 'E', and 'Q' is the least used. Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right of left handed... or is that pawed? The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lighting than women. Of all the words in the English language, the word set has the most definitions. Bulls are colorblind, therefore will usually charge at a matador's waving cape no matter what color it is -- be it red or neon yellow. Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings. Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight. After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again! When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head. Coca-Cola was originally green. Hong Kong has the most Rolls Royce's per capita. Alaska is the state with highest percent of people who walk to work. 28 percent of Africa is wilderness. 38 percent of America is wilderness. A duck's quack does not echo and no one knows why. It costs $6400 to raise a medium size dog to age of 11. Average number of people airborne over the U.S. during any given hour: 61,000. 70 percent of Americans who visited Disneyland/World. Intelligent people have more copper and zinc in their hair. The youngest pope was 11 years old. Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other country. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet and was developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only "mobile" National Monuments. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter "uncopyrightable." Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ? The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and learned how to walk up standard staircases. When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because, when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people (without killing them) used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired." Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know his voice was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel fuel that it burns. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-star Game. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. Butterflies taste with their feet. A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Coca Cola was originally green. The Ten Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words. There are more collect calls made on Father's Day than on any other day. Every day more money is printed for monopoly than the US Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women, women can hear better than men. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. The world's youngest parents were 8 & 9 and lived in China in 1910. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. The youngest Pope was 11 years old. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the bubonic plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (Ring around the Rosey...). These sores would smell very bad so people would hide flowers on their bodies in an attempt to mask the smell ("pocket full of posies..."). People who died from the plague would be burned to reduce the spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down"). The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma. American car horns beep in the tone of F. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

agian another useless fact? Bats always turn left when exiting a cave! Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin! No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes. It is estimated that millions of trees are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them! A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why. Bulls are colorblind, therefore will usually charge at a matador's waving cape no matter what color it is -- be it red or neon yellow! A lump of pure gold the size of a matchbox can be flattened into a sheet the size of a tennis court! The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy." Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. The volume of the earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean. Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil. Ham radio operators got the term "ham" coined from the expression "ham fisted operators," a term used to describe early radio users who sent Morse code (i.e., pounded their fist). The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live Free or Die." These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord. Chinese Crested dogs can get acne. Hydrogen gas is the least dense substance in the world, at 0.08988g/cc. Hydrogen solid is the most dense substance in the world, at 70.6g/cc. Each year there is one ton of cement poured for each man woman and child in the world. The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F. The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P. The giant red star Betelgeuse has a diameter larger than that of the Earth's orbit around the sun. The longest place name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokai- whenuakitanatahu--a New Zealand hill. Los Angeles's full name is: "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Poriuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "LA." Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. According to Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, it is possible to go slower than light and faster than light, but it is impossible to go the speed of light. Also, there is a particle called tackyon which is supposed to go faster than light. This means if you fire a tackyon beam, it travels before you fire it. When you tie a noose, the rope is wrapped twelve times around because it's the same length as a persons head. Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards. A cat's jaw cannot move sideways. If she were life size, Barbie's measurements are: 39-23-33. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are members of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in "Its A Wonderful Life". A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper right-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Why it's Paul Reiser himself. The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away. The name for the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz." The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. A rainbow can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. When spelt phonetically, Esso means stalled car in Japan. Tigers have round pupils and yellow irises (except for the blue eyes of white tigers). Due to a retinal adaptation that reflects light back to the retina, the night vision of tigers is six times better than that of humans. In 1949, Popular Mechanics forecasted that "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." If the Loch Ness monster exists at all, he (or she) could only be about as big as a sixth grader. A new study shows that there is only enough fish in the loch to feed a 31 kg (about 67 lb) creature. The scientists used sonar to estimate the number of fish in the lake and came up with an annual food supply of 93 kg. Since a cold blooded animal like Nessie would need to eat about three times its body weight each year, it could only weigh about 31 kg. Polar bears are left-handed. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year. The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz. Only 1/3 of the people that can twitch their ears can twitch only one at a time. The largest city in the United States with a one syllable name is Flint, Michigan. The number of the trash compactor in Star Wars is 3263827. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave. "Evian" spelled backvards is naive. Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts." Alexander the Great was an epileptic. A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't. Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox. The face of a penny can hold about thirty drops of water. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode. Pigs can become alcoholics. In Michigan, USA, a man legally owns his wife's hair. Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo. A blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant. There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half-caused cancer in rats. The waste produced by one chicken in its lifetime can supply enough electricity to run a 100-watt bulb for five hours. It takes 12,000 head of cattle to produce one pound of adrenaline. 55,700 people in the US are injured by jewelry each year. In the past 60 years, the groundhog has only predicted the weather correctly 28% of the time. The rushing back and forth from burrows is believed to indicate sexual activity, not shadow seeking. Turkeys will peck to death members of the flock that are physically inferior or different. In Miami, Florida, roosting vultures have taken to snatching poodles from rooftop patios. Back in 1919 the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made headlines by grafting monkey testicles onto human males. 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321. The average human has about 20 square feet of skin weighing about 6 pounds. There is now an ATM at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, which has a winter population of 200. Bulgaria was the only soccer team in the 1994 World Cup in which all 11 players' last names ended with the letters "OV." The actor who played the T-1000 in Terminator 2 (Robert Patrick) and the lead singer of Filter are brothers. Zip code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in Schenectady, N.Y. The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements. Jackals have one more pair of chromosomes than dogs or wolves. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want. Basenji dogs and Australian dingoes are virtually identical. The same man who led the attack on the Alamo, General Santa Anna, is also credited with the invention of chewing gum. A top freestyle swimmer achieves a speed of only 4 miles per hour. Fish, in contrast, have been clocked at 68 mph. 500,000 tons of dog excrement are dumped annually on the streets of Paris. The typical laboratory mouse runs 2.5 miles per night on its treadmill. A 5 ft. 5 inch tall 27-year-old woman weighing in at 374 pounds outflabbed 1,000 competitors to win the title of fattest person in China. Her prize - a supply of diet food. The average US worker toils for two hours and 47 minutes of each working day just to pay income tax. Indeed, the average American pays more in taxes than for food, clothing and shelter put together. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark. In the U.S. there is, on average, three sex change operations per day. It only takes a male horse 14 seconds to copulate. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. A group of crows is called a murder. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. Rabbits and Horses cannot vomit. The names of all the continents end with the letter they start with. About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee. The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. Dragonflies have a life span of only 24 hours. Elephants are the only animal that can't jump. In L.A., U.S.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than 2 inches wide. 1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions includes a stripper. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. The palms of your hands and the soles of your feet cannot tan. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. The radioactive substance, Americanium - 241 is used in many smoke detectors. The parachute was invented by Leonardo da Vinci in 1515. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself. Every Swiss citizen is required by law to have a bomb shelter or access to a bomb shelter. Rennin, the enzyme obtained from the fourth stomach of a cow and used chiefly in the manufacture of cheese, is capable of coagulating more than 25,000 times its weight of fresh milk. Tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits. There is a place in Norway called "Hell". Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air. There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half caused cancer in rats. The average ice berg weighs 20,000,000 tons. In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water. The list of ingredients that make up lipstick include...fish scales. Ants do not sleep. Most lipstick contains fish scales! The USA bought Alaska from Russia for 2 cents an acre. The first letters of the months July through November, in order, spell the name JASON. No other animal gives us more by-products than the hog. These by-products include pig suede, buttons, glass, paint brushes, crayons, chalk, and insulation to name a few. Cockroaches' favorite food is the glue on envelopes and on the back of postage stamps If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. Flush toilets date back to 2000 B.C. The flatulation from domesticated cows produce about 30% of the methane on this planet. Only 2 more blue moons (the saying "only once in a blue moon" refers to the occurence of two full moons during one calender month) are to occur between now and 2001. Those times are January 1999 and March 1999. Hitler and Napolean both had only one testical. Chimpanzees used in AIDS vaccine studies get a pension of more than $100,000 to pay for their care and containment for the duration of their natural lives. While it is possible to infect chimpanzees with HIV, they do not appear to get AIDS. Even if you cut off a cockroach's head, it can live for several weeks. Some toothpastes contain antifreeze. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigleys gum! Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy. The Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland was a symbolic character for the hat makers in towns of the late 1800's. The large felt hats of the day had supports made out of lead. The lead caused an organic form of psychosis (brain damage) to develop in the hat makers causing them to be declared crazy. Some biblical scholars believe that Aramaic, the language of the ancient Bible, did not contain an easy way to say "many things" and used a term which has come down to us as 40. This means that when the bible -- in many places -- refers to "40 days," they meant many days. Texas was once a country. If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion! Clinophobia is the fear of beds! Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. In the 19th century, the British Navy attempted to dispel the superstition that Friday is an unlucky day to embark on a ship. The keel of a new ship was laid on a Friday, she was named H.M.S. Friday, commanded by a Captain Friday, and finally went to sea on a Friday. Neither the ship nor her crew were ever heard of again. Cats have over 100 vocal sounds, whereas, dogs only have about 10. In 1681, the last dodo bird died. Colgate faced an obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself." "Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters. There are more Barbie dolls in Italy than there are Canadians in Canada! Emus cannot walk backwards. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the worlds largest zipper manufacturer. 97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine. To force a tortoises' legs from its shell to treat it, you need to place your finger up it's bottom... It is estimated that Americans will consume 10 million tons of Turkey on Thanksgiving day. Due to turkey's high sulphur content, Americans will also produce enough gas to fly a fleet of 75 Hindenbergs from L.A. to New York in 24 hours. Porcupines float in water! The wingspan of a Boeing 747 is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand! Approximately 97.35618329% of all statistics are made up... You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider The little bags of netting for gas lanterns (called 'mantles') are radioactive -- they will set of an alarm at a nuclear reactor. A bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed every animal in the Berlin Zoo except the elephant, which escaped and roamed the city. When a Russian commander saw hungry Germans chasing the elephant and trying to kill it, he ordered his troops to protect it and shoot anyone who tried to kill it Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike. A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night! The first Ford cars had Dodge engines. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs-it will let you go instantly. Reindeer like to eat bananas. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows." The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane. Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously 2.5 cans of Spam are consumed every second in the United States Chevrolet tried marketing a Chevrolet Nova in Spanish countries. It didn't sell well because NOVA means "doesn't go" in spanish. Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it's known as Tennessee! Every continent has a city called Rome. The word "sophomore" means "sophisticated moron." The state of Florida is bigger than England! Slugs have 4 noses! There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses! America once issued a 5-cent bill! Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

Funny, LOL? A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. "What's that?" the lady questions. "Oh, I wear this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me. Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE. "What's that?" the lady questions again." "Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV." Then the man drops his underwear and on his member, he has a tattoo that says AIDS. "You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams. "No, no! Calm down!" the man replies. "Just wait a moment and it will say ADIDAS in a minute."

proposal ,rate this? A really hilarious letter written by an eligible bachelor sent in by LL which is not meant to be taken seriously! Madam: I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Bangaloru. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Karnataka. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. Expecting soon, Yours and only yours C.S.V.L.T.Rao

fun facts...? For every human being on earth, there are about 200 million insects. The harmonica is the world's most popular instrument. By the time they are 65 years old, most Americans have watched more than nine years worth of television. The puck in ice hockey can travel at up to 118 mph (190 km/h). If you stretched all the nerves in the body from end to end, they would be about 47 miles long. Humans have more than 600 muscles in their bodies. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. There are 293 ways to make changea for a dollar. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt." All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are a member of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. The largest cabbage weighed 144 lbs. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A." A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Tigers have striped skin, not just stripped fur. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life." A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this at home!) The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. Many hamsters blink one eye at a time. The inventor of the flushing toilet was Thomas Crapper. The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Plastic lawn flamingos outnumber real flamingos in the U.S.A. Whitby, Ontario has more donut stores per capita than any other place in the world. Starfish have no brain. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. Ernest Vincent Wright wrote a novel with over 50,000 words, none of which containing the letter "E". Bulls are color blind. A can of SPAM is opened every 4 seconds. "Babe" was played by over 48 pigs. Mosquitoes have 47 teeth. Lip stick contains fish scales. The Poison Arrow frog has enough poison to kill 2200 people. The largest known kidney stone weighed 1.36 kilograms. Kidney stones come in any color from yellow to brown. Women blink twice as many times as men do. The McDonalds at the SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario is the only one in the world that sells hot dogs. A bowling pin only has to tilt 7.5 degrees in order to fall down. The first episode of Leave It To Beaver aired on October 4, 1957. Beaver Cleaver's locker number is 9. The first flushing toilet seen on TV was on Leave It To Beaver. Jerry Seinfeld's apartment number (on the show) is 5A. In the old episodes it was 3A. The life span of a taste bud is ten days. Pi has been calculated to 2,260,321,363 digits. The billionth digit in Pi is 9. The first 100 numbers of Pi are: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884... 58209749445923078164062862089986280348... Click HERE for 99,999 digits of pi! A stretched out Slinky is 87 feet long. An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. Emus can't walk backwards. A group of unicorns is called a blessing. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. A group of whales is called a pod. A group of geese is called a gaggle. A group of owls is called a parliament. A group of ravens is called a murder. A group of bears is called a sleuth. 12 or more cows is called a flink. A baby oyster is called a spat. Chickens can't swallow while they are upside down. In the October 22, 1945 edition of Life magazine there was a picture of a chicken with its head cut off. It was alive too! The average garden variety caterpillar has 248 muscles in its head. Pinocchio was made of pine. The largest pumpkin weighed 377 lbs. A mule won't sink in quicksand but a donkey will. More people are killed annually by donkeys than in airplane crashes. Alfred Hitchcock had no belly button for it was eliminated during surgery. There are 22 stars in the Paramount logo. The average human produces 10,000 gallons of saliva in a lifetime. A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. Cranberry Jell-0 is the only kind that contains real fruit. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie. The pound sign # is called anoctothorpe. Maine is the toothpick capital of the world. New Jersey has a spoon museum with over 5,400 spoons from almost all the states. There was once a town in West Virginia called "6". Singapore only has one train station. The parking meter was invented in North Dakota. Napolean made his battle plans in a sandbox. Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator. The green stuff on the occasional freak potatoe chip is chlorophyll. If you ate too many carrots you would turn orange. Pluto's orbit crosses Neptune's making Pluto the eighth planet from the sun. It has been that way since 1979 and will remain that way until 1999. The earth is approx. 6,588,000,000,000,000,000 tons. The force of 1 billion people jumping at the same time is equal to 500 tons of TNT. Popeye was 5'6". Howdy Doody had 48 freckles. The first word spoken on the moon was "Okay". Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first. The average speed of Heinz ketchup leaving the bottle is 25 miles per year. Hilary Clinton once said We are the President. The percent of women who wash their hands after leaving a restroom is 80%. The percent of men who wash their hands after using a restroom is 55%. There are 333 toilet paper squares on a toilet paper roll. The Eifel Tower has 2,500,000 rivets in it. "Jaws" is the most common name for a goldfish. On an average work day, a typist's fingers travel 12.6 miles. The average American eats 2 donuts a day. The longest word in the Old Testament is Malhershalahashbaz. The longest time a person has been in a coma is 37 years. Every minute in the U.S 6 people turn 17. It takes the Where's Waldo artist one month to complete a drawing. 2500 lefties die each year using products designed for righties. A baby is born every 7 seconds. 10 tons of space dust fall on the Earth everyday. On average, a 4 year old child asks 437 questions a day. Blue and white are the most common school colors. Swimming pools in Phoenix, Arizona, pick up 20 pounds of dust a year. The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: What hath God wrought?. The first words spoken by over Alexander Bell over the telephone were: Watson, please come here. I want you. The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: Mary had a little lamb The three words in the English language with the letters uu are: vacuum, residuum and continuum. A baby in Florida was named: Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestd... His middle name is George James. It is illegal to ride a street car on Sunday if have been eating garlic in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In a normal life time an American will eat 200 pounds of peanuts and 10,000 pounds of meat. A new book is published every 13 minutes in America. America's best selling ice-cream flavour is vanilla. American's eat 18 billion hot dogs a year. American's eat 134 pounds of sugar a year. Every year the sun loses 360 million tons. Because of Animal Crackers, many kids until they reach the age of ten, believe a bear is as tall as a giraffe. You can tell if a skunk is about if you smell only .000 000 000 000 071 ounce of its spray. Animal breeders in Russia once claimed to have bred sheep with blue wool. Penguins are the only bird that can leap into the air like porpoises. India has 50 million monkeys. By some unknown means, an iguana can end its own life. Americans spend around $3 billion for cat and dog food a year. Pigs can cover a mile in 7.5 minutes when running at top speed. You breathe about 10 million times a year. The colder the room you sleep in, the better the chances are that you'll have a bad dream. The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse. Lee Harvey Oswald was booked with mugshot number 54018. The Gulf Stream could carry a message in a bottle at an average of 4 miles per hour. The bullseye on a dartboard must be 5 feet 8 inches off the ground. The foot is the most common body part bitten by insects. The most common time for a wake up call is 7am. The doorbell was invented in 1831. The are 255 squares on a Scrabble board. The electric shaver was patented on November 6, 1928. There are 500 sheets of paper in a ream. The monkey wrench was invented by Charles Moncke. Japan is the largest exporter of frog's legs. There are seven points on the Statue of Liberty's crown. There are approx. 550 hairs in the eyebrow. The most common non-contagious disease in the world is tooth decay. The shell constitutes 12 percent of an egg's weight. A squid has 10 tentacles. A snail's reproductive organs are in its head. A cow's only sweat glands are in its nose. The word "AND" appears 46,277 times in the Bible. The first word played in the Scrabble rules demonstration game is "horn". The telephone's U.S. patent number is 174,465. The typical person goes to the bathroom 6 times a day. There are 17 steps leading up to Sherlock Holme's apartment. When a horned toad is angry, it squirts blood from it's eyes. Napoleon was terrified of cats. The first Lifesaver flavor was peppermint. The typical American eats 263 eggs a year. The ballpoint pen was invented in 1938 by Laszlo and Georg Biro. The fastest growing nail is on the middle finger. The parking meter was invented by C.C. Magee in 1935. In 1961, an IBM 7090 computer calculated Pi to 100 265 digits. The human body weighs forty times more than the brain. After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp. A person swallows approximately 295 times while eating dinner. The oldest known vegetable is the pea. Jack is the most common name in nursery rhymes. The avocado has the most calories of any fruit. The first zoo in the USA was in Philadelphia. The letter N ends all Japanese words not ending in a vowel. France has the highest per capita consumption of cheese. The hardest bone in the human body is the jawbone. 4000 people are injured by teapots each year. The typical American consumes 27 pounds of cheese each year. The shortest English word that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E, and F is feedback. The ostrich has a 46 foot long small intestine. The state of California raises the most turkeys out of all of the states. The most sensitive finger on the human hand is the index finger. George Washington Carver invented peanut butter. The typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year. Stainless stell was invented by Harry Brearley in 1913. A scallop has 35 blue eyes. The left leg of a chicken in more tender than the right one. The only dog that doesn't have a pink tongue is the chow. Iceland was the first country to legalize abortion in 1935. The giraffe has the highest blood pressure of any animal. The dumbest domesticated animal is the turkey. Russia has the most movie theaters in the world. Albert Blake Dick invented the mimeograph machine. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. The most fatal car accidents occur on Saturday. An Oscar weighs seven pounds. It takes the typical person seven minutes to fall asleep. Gabriel Fahrenheit invented the mercury thermometer. The Eiffel Tower has 1792 steps. The mongoose was barred live entry into the U.S. in 1902. Ants stretch when they wake up in the morning. Thomas Edison, lightbulb inventor, was afraid of the dark. About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30. A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 600 m.p.h. The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year. Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet. Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue. A jellyfish is 95 percent water. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump. The penguin is the only bird who can swim, but not fly. America once issued a 5-cent bill. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different. Fortune cookies were actually invented in America, in 1918, by Charles Jung. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails. You blink about 84,000,000 times a year. In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans. Every 45 seconds, a house catches on fire in the United States. The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. The most used letter in the English alphabet is 'E', and 'Q' is the least used. Dogs and cats, like humans, are either right of left handed... or is that pawed? The opposite sides of a dice cube always add up to seven. Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lighting than women. Of all the words in the English language, the word set has the most definitions. Bulls are colorblind, therefore will usually charge at a matador's waving cape no matter what color it is -- be it red or neon yellow. Apples are more efficient than caffeine in keeping people awake in the mornings. Smelling bananas and/or green apples (smelling, not eating) can help you lose weight. After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again! When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head. Coca-Cola was originally green. Hong Kong has the most Rolls Royce's per capita. Alaska is the state with highest percent of people who walk to work. 28 percent of Africa is wilderness. 38 percent of America is wilderness. A duck's quack does not echo and no one knows why. It costs $6400 to raise a medium size dog to age of 11. Average number of people airborne over the U.S. during any given hour: 61,000. 70 percent of Americans who visited Disneyland/World. Intelligent people have more copper and zinc in their hair. The youngest pope was 11 years old. Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other country. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet and was developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches. The San Francisco Cable cars are the only "mobile" National Monuments. The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter "uncopyrightable." Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ? The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and learned how to walk up standard staircases. When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror. The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because, when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of unwanted people (without killing them) used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired." Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds. David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know his voice was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie. The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel fuel that it burns. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-star Game. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined. Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. Butterflies taste with their feet. A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Coca Cola was originally green. The Ten Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln's Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words. There are more collect calls made on Father's Day than on any other day. Every day more money is printed for monopoly than the US Treasury. Men can read smaller print than women, women can hear better than men. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. The world's youngest parents were 8 & 9 and lived in China in 1910. Honey is the only food that doesn't spoil Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. The youngest Pope was 11 years old. "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. The nursery rhyme Ring Around the Rosey is a rhyme about the bubonic plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores (Ring around the Rosey...). These sores would smell very bad so people would hide flowers on their bodies in an attempt to mask the smell ("pocket full of posies..."). People who died from the plague would be burned to reduce the spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down"). The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma. American car horns beep in the tone of F. No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes To "testify" was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles

A south Indian Guys Proposal Letter.. Hilarious.. Crazy!!!? CAUTION: MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT EATING OR DRINKING WHEN READING THIS! I WAS DRINKING TEA AND SPURTED AND SPIFFED TEA ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD AND HAD TO *&%$ CLEAN UP!!! Madam: I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in Thiruvananthapuram. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside Kerala. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am a jolly gay . Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top.That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the gym and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the gym. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you. I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday. That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and take my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day. In fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the gym. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come. So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet and looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. Expecting soon, Yours and only yours Kutty Regards : The Next BIG Thing ! € ¦® slightly long.. but u wont regret the read.. (star if u like)

how to look good guys and girls help please? Hey i need to start dressing a bit better, i am 152cms tall and weight 73 kgs so i am short and fat (trying to lose weight) now what should a 17yr old Australian Male wear to catch the ladies eyes? i have blue eyes and really silky blonde hair not long but not short my fringe comes down to my eyebrows and the sides are JUST touching my ears and the back is a little bit off from touching my collar. Now what i wear now... Single colour Billagong/Quicksilver button-up shirts with some decals on them. loose jeans or cargo pants or 3/4 jeans or cargos this is comfortable and it used to look good but i've been doing that for a while please help me out

did you know? For every human being on earth, there are about 200 million insects. The harmonica is the world's most popular instrument. By the time they are 65 years old, most Americans have watched more than nine years worth of television. The puck in ice hockey can travel at up to 118 mph (190 km/h). If you stretched all the nerves in the body from end to end, they would be about 47 miles long. Humans have more than 600 muscles in their bodies. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. There are 293 ways to make changea for a dollar. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in